Real Time Relationships

Some time back I wrote concerning the importance of friends. I look at the changing world around us and I am noticing a growth of pseudo-relationships. Web-sites such as Facebook, My Space, etc. have tremendous potential for info exchange and connectivity but we are all aware of some of the dangers that lurk in such environments. One of the dangers that I see with our technological connectivity (as I write on a blog-lol) is the loss of real relationships while pursuing a relationship via the web. Let me explain. I have counseled wives and mothers who are frustrated with the lack of involvement of their husbands in their family life but these men are consumed with the internet. When I have spoken with these men they have expressed the fulfillment they get from communicating with old pals or game-players on the web. For these men this is a type of relationship. This phenomenon is certainly not limited to men, for I have dealt with wives and children with the same issues. This is substitutionary relationship. Substituting a real time relationship for a temporary, technological pseudo-relationship. Before you rush to your next forum debate or to check your latest visit on your blog take the time to ask yourself, "How are my real-time relationships".

That is one of the things that I love about the holidays. Holidays provide the opportunity to spend extended time with those we love.

My family celebrated the New Year with a whole host of people but one moment stands out in particular. On New Year's Eve I heard the sound of a piano playing so I made my way toward the music room and heard Bobbi Shoemake begin to sing. Sitting beside her was the "Lady of Southern Gospel", Priscilla McGruder and her "twin" sister, Mary Wilson. I couldn't help but join in the song and before it was over, we had a choir; Jimmy Shoemake, Nancy Holsten, Carroll McGruder, Nate Wilson, and even Jon and Tasha joined in (well Jon didn't sing-he was working on his black-berry-JK). As Bobbi played, memories flooded through my mind of being a child and hearing those old Dottie Rambo songs and my heart was moved with joy at hearing those old hymns from the past. We didn't just sing them, we told the stories about the songs.

After it was all over and Jon and Tasha, Bobby and Jimmy, Carroll and Priscilla, Brian and Nancy and the others had gone home, I thought, "These are the moments in life that you never forget". My family and I experienced real living, breathing relationships that have history, love, conquest and even sorrow. So, this year I am going to close the lap top more often and live out more real relationships in real time. After all, isn't life supposed to be lived and not typed.